Each of us is wired for connection. To ourself, others, and whatever else we choose to believe in.
No one gets a handbook explaining how that connection actually happens, which can leave us blindly searching. Looking in other people, places, and things. Often chasing the next best thing, which is rarely grounded in the present moment.
Through various means, I have spent endless time, effort, and talent looking for a way to connect. I won’t bore you with my exhaustive list. You can fill in the (blank).
For many years, I have been a passionate art collector, in awe of the sheer talent that exists in the world; Tangible proof of expression that can evoke ranges of emotion.
Personally, I never saw myself as someone with that skill set. I was meant to collect art, not create it…or so I thought.
I have been blessed with many talents in life. In fact, most things I aimed to do usually resulted in success. An entire life built around things I was good at.
Those pursuits rarely left space to consider if they actually filled my cup. Like many, I got caught up in the outcomes, the successes, the ride, which left little room for a greater depth and understanding.
The emotional toll of that life robbed me of a deeper connection to myself, which left me unplugged and depleted.
Being good at something doesn’t mean we have to do it.
Unfortunately, that understanding only came well after those blessings had come and gone. I loved many aspects of that life and the lessons it offered, but it wasn’t meant to last.
I have no regrets. It was all meant to be.
However, watching a lifetime of work disintegrate does leave one to contemplate the real meaning of life. Surely, there is more to it?
That simple question illuminated a new path; a more wholehearted existence focused on pursuing passion and purpose.
I had no clue about where to begin…
So, I started by taking steps to find my own version happy, which I just detailed in my last blog post.
Every step mattered.
Today, I am grateful to enjoy work I am deeply passionate about. It takes tremendous mental energy, but I do love it. Finding time to recharge is imperative. My increasingly demanding professional life led me to find ways to find a deeper connection to myself.
After a series of attempts at various hobbies, it came upon me…
ART
Quickly, I dismissed this idea. In my head, I always believed that being an artist somehow required skills I knew I didn’t have. Of course, I did actually go to design school and took quite a few art classes. But, that didn’t matter. I assuredly believed I wasn’t qualified.
You have to be cool and interesting to be an artist. I didn’t believe I was either. Talented at many things, but certainly not art.
I considered the idea for some time, always dismissing it. I was so engrained in the belief that you should not try something unless you knew you could be a success at it. That one thing always held me back.
FEAR!
On a winter’s day, in a courageous moment, something shifted. A voice told me to do it scared.
Dive in. Create. Make Art.
Hesitantly, I bought some art supplies and the journey began.
It started as a futile attempt to create. I would explore techniques and colors just seeing what might stick. I was convinced that to be an “artist” I would need a signature style, which really is ridiculous upon reflection.
Unrealistically, I felt an overwhelming pressure to create a masterpiece.
For hours, I would watch videos, look at art books, and explore Instagram, YouTube, and Pinterest, (click to follow, if you like) all in an attempt to find my own muse. Nothing stuck. So, I painted people, flowers, landscapes, abstracts. Each brought me momentary joy, but none felt like my signature style.
Honestly, this kind of “creative” process wore me out and made me feel like I’d failed at my new exercise of expression. Try as I might, I couldn’t find that feeling I’d been expecting.
Expectation is a destroyer.
I expected to be calm, peaceful, talented, good enough…you name it. In fact, what I really felt was defeated.
Disenchanted with my outcomes, I abandoned the whole idea of creating art altogether. For more than a year, I walked away believing I wasn’t capable of creating anything artistic. I gave up on myself.
Then, all at once something shifted…
I woke up one day renewed and felt inspired. So, I dusted off my supplies that had been lying in wait.
The old techniques didn’t fit. I begrudgingly pushed myself. A fellow artist friend on Instagram urged me one. Day by day, she coaxed me from my self-imposed box. I am so grateful for her kind and persistent nudging.
I can now laugh at my idealized view of how it might all work out. Expectations can stop us dead in our tracks. Art pushes me from my comfort zone in many ways. Each day is a new dance and discovery.
A dear friend reminded me recently that I have been preparing my whole life to be an “artist.” My love of design, balance, and color beautifully intersect into a symbiosis that I can now clearly see in my work. A work in progress.
What I have learned and am still learning is this…
- Ignore the voice in your head. It’s lying
- Do it scared
- Try something new. You never know the outcome.
- If it doesn’t work out, don’t give up. Redirect yourself.
- Keep showing up
Making art allows me to create my own kind of magic. I am discovering that sharing my gifts with others allows me to feel a new sense of peace and depth. It gives me greater confidence and joy, which pushes me forward.
I am excited for the road ahead…
I do not pretend to be at a destination, merely sharing this part of a long journey. Until I feel otherwise, I will continue pursuing this passion by sharing my unique version of happiness with the world, in whatever form of expression it takes.
I believe there is a well of inspiration in all of us.
My sincere hope is that you join me in taking your next step of creation. Whatever you choose to manifest begins with the next step. The world needs more good stuff from each of us.
Let’s keep moving forward.
Life is Art!
* The art shown in this post is from my latest series Chaos Meditation. I am inspired by the delicate balance of peace and frenzy of life. Through a use of color and layered elements, I express my version of peace that can be found within. For available pieces, please contact me: jasonchopcus@gmail.com
** All images are my own and need my express permission to share.
Life as Art 
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